“ The only thing people have to fear is their own potential. But the way to overcome fear is not to suppress it. You overcome fear by doing. No one gets over their fear of heights by staying away from buildings. Yo, skydive that shit.
“ I have always met any and all of your claims of violence with polite incredulity. It could be because of your ridiculous, bangs-over-your-one-eye hairstyle, the fact that you’re a tall 120 lbs glass of water, or because you’re most effeminate guy I know. I couldn’t really tell.
“ Our story is better than anything I can commit to fiction. It’s real.
“
This must be how angels taste like.’
‘Angels don’t taste good. It’s all happiness. Too sweet for my liking’
‘Mine too, but it sure is filling.’
I set out to write something about how I love the way it’s always three minutes left, but as I’ve begun to increasingly realize this week, the ending I set out for has given way for the inevitable ending.
This post is going to be about how I enjoy every moment of what this currently is. I enjoy every moment of what this currently is. Life has a way of surprising and overturning any plans one might have, but in this case, it’s turned it to something bigger than itself. Not different. Transcendent. It’s turned into something that will probably, save me too.
My three minutes are up. Thank you.
“ Just because things end, doesn’t mean they aren’t worth starting. They are worth keeping alive.
All together now
Mic test. Mic test.
I haven’t written anything in a while. Lately, I’ve been seeing things in movie frames. I’ve always thought that movies were the medium of the restless. They are for people who are not and cannot be contented by the slow grace of the imagination one might exercise from reading or writing. They are for people who are itching for a sense of adventure, but cannot be bothered to live their lives in search of it. Today, my restlessness was appeased. Today, the world slowed down and I was able to enjoy the things I have missed.
The coming month will be trying. There will be a lot of changes that will test me to the limit. Like a movie into climax, everything will be a series of frantic revelations affecting all of my senses. It’s no time to be restless.
Scratch that: I’m not restless. For the first time in years, I am not restless. I know exactly what I need to do. Slow down, world. Pao’s home.
You know how satisfying it feels when you hear a cog or a part of some bigger machine fit into whatever slot it was meant to go into? That *click* sound that says: ‘Hey, you’ve just done something right that will ultimately get this thing up and running again. You will now have something to show your friends: a testament that you do not, in fact, suck.’
That’s what it felt like for me yesterday. I can’t actually tell anyone who will read this what it was that I did exactly. I’m not even sure if it was something I had done by inaction or otherwise. It’s just two years of depression has robbed me of a lot of things, and almost lost me what was most important.
But yesterday the piece I was missing slid into place. Memoriese flooded in, accompanied by the small conversations and random twitterings of a million other coincidences, all telling me something I’ve already told myself years ago. I had forgotten who I was overtime; lost myself to wanting something I swore I would set free. I have become possessive. Not a trait that’s all too bad, given the right circumstance, but it was destroying me from the inside.
I feel happy again. I really do. People try their best to cheer you up because they want to see you happy, and it really helps. However, for someone to become happy with everyone else, one must allow themselves to become happy again.
Tadaima.
“ Think about what you want and nothing else. Do everything you can to achieve what makes you happy. Don’t even think about me, I’ll be just fine.
— A confident man, 4 years ago
